RSVP Etiquette

Do you know what to wear??

You have just received a beautiful invitation in the mail. Maybe it is for a wedding, a birthday party or a charity gala. You read through the information about time and place and then get to the line that mentions dress code. You see those embossed words and the confusion sets in.

“Um, what does that mean? ... What do I wear??”

We’ve all been there. Well fret no more. I am going to break down what each type of dress code request really means. With this guide you will be dressed correctly and ready to celebrate.

Black Tie – This type of invitation means that gentlemen should show up in a proper tuxedo. That’s right, a tuxedo, along with a tuxedo shirt, bow or classic tie and patent leather shoes. For those of you who think that a black suit will fit the bill, you are wrong. Don’t even think about it.

Women should attend the event in cocktail or evening gowns. If you are not a fan of dresses, work a tuxedo or evening pants suit. Try to coordinate with the person attending the event with you. You don’t have to match, but you should compliment each other.

Black Tie Optional – Without a doubt, this means you can mix it up a bit. Gentlemen can wear either a tuxedo with the above listed accessories or a black suit. If going with a suit, stick to a dark colored tie. Stay to the dressier side of things.

Women should dress as for black tie events.

White Tie – Simply stated, this means over the top formal. Gentlemen should wear full dress. Meaning a tuxedo that includes a white tuxedo shirt, white tie and white vest. There are no exceptions or variations on this.

Women attending a White Tie Event should only attend in full-length gowns. Cocktail attire and pants suits are not at all appropriate.


Semi Formal – This type of event permits a breather from the tuxedo and gowns. Gentlemen should consider a dark suit if the event is after 6pm. If it is before 6pm, consider gray, khaki or navy suits. Base it on the season and what your partner is wearing.

Women can wear cocktail dresses or a short dress that is appropriate. Do not show up in a mini dress or one that isn’t your size. No matter what size or age you are, it is possible to look amazing.


Cocktail Attire – Dark suits for gentleman are the way to go.

Knee-length or longer dresses are best for women. Think: your favorite little black dress with some show-stopping jewelry.

Festive Attire – This means to show up with some sparkle and fun in your outfit! Gentlemen wearing suits could wear a brightly colored or even a holiday-themed tie.

Women can go with slacks and a beaded blouse, a holiday colored top or even something sequined.

Business Casual – Last but not least, for this type of invitation, gentlemen should go with a slightly dressed up version of casual looks. You could wear a suit without a tie or go with a sport coat and well-tailored slacks.

Women can wear a little black dress or even a dressed up version of a pants suit. No matter what, no jeans, sandals, t-shirts or polos are appropriate.

See that wasn’t so bad, was it? With this guide, you are ready to pick out an outfit for any occasion. If you are still confused, call the host and ask what would be suitable to wear to the party. The final thing you need to finish your ensemble is a smile. It will light up a room and make you more social!